Socialization

                       In 14 years of homeschooling, I’ve heard that
word more than any other term relating to schooling
children. It is truly amazing how concern about socialization
seems to have been inserted at the front of every non-
homeschooler’s mind in America. That fact alone is
indicative of the intellectual depths to which we have sunk.
When the first question to arise regarding an educational
choice has nothing whatever to do with the acquisition of
knowledge, what does that say about our attitude as a
people toward learning? At the very least it indicates a
deep misunderstanding of what education is while it says all
too much about what schooling is.

         John Taylor Gatto has said that education and
schooling can never be the same. Modern schooling was
invented to socialize, that is make children into good
socialists. Actually, that goal has been largely
accomplished by our present system of government
schools. In that sense, homeschoolers, of whatever
political stripe, are unlikely to “properly socialize” their
children simply by virtue of the fact that they have chosen
to opt out of our socialist school system. Good socialists
fall in line with the party and do what they are told.
Homeschoolers, by definition, are free-market individualists
in the educational arena if not elsewhere.

         However, those who ask how our children will be
properly “socialized” never mean it in a political sense.
Almost no one even knows that the term was popularized
by John Dewey, a prominent socialist school “reformer.”
No, people who ask about “socialization,” are concerned
that our children will be isolated from society and never
learn to “get along” with children of their own age. We
know what they are asking, take it as a criticism or a
challenge, and reply that our children get out a lot, have
many friends and are very well adjusted. While this is
certainly true in the vast majority of cases, and while it is
important for us to dispel this “isolationist” myth that is so
worrisome to the unenlightened, there are other important
myths regarding “socialization” to be dispelled.

         Myth #1: Children learn to get along with people in
school.

         Fact: The opposite is true. Visit any school
playground for a half hour if you doubt it. On the contrary,
homeschool children get along well with children of all ages
and often feel comfortable conversing with adults. There is
no place in adult society where people are segregated by
age to within one year plus or minus. Adults would think it
absurd to be told they could only work and socialize with
people of their exact age. Yet, we have grown accustomed
to segregating children and pretending that this is an
appropriate venue in which they can learn to get along with
other children and people in general.

Thus, children learn to trust and imitate their thoroughly
untrustworthy, immature, and foolish peers over their
parents, which brings us to…

         Myth #2: Children learn to behave around other
people in school.

         Fact: Children trade barbarities in school. Research
has established that when children spend more time with
peers than with adults, they adopt the value system of the
children rather than of the adults in their lives. In a school
setting, the adult child ratio is at least 1:20 and often as
much as 1:35. There is simply no contest.   Left with a bare
minimum of positive adult input during the day, children in
school mimic whatever comes in front of their faces the
most often. Add to this the negative societal input of a latch-
key generation (TV, radio, movies, inappropriate reading
materials, etc.) and you have a formula for disaster. With all
the negative roll models in the world today (often disguised
to appear very attractive) it takes almost Herculean effort to
raise a civilized child in a school setting today.

         At home, however, with a warm, responsive adult in
charge, children learn the values and behavior modeled and
taught by the parent or guardian. Negative input from
outside sources such as television can be kept at a
minimum. Playmates can be monitored and interaction with
at least one adult can be maximized. Children love adult
attention so it is not difficult for a homeschool parent to be
his or her child’s major role model.

         Myth #3: Lots of age-mates are desirable and even
mandatory for a healthy childhood and good education.

         Fact: The Smithsonian Institute studied what
geniuses had in common and came up with an interesting
formula. It was found that geniuses had three things in
common:

                     1. A warm, responsive parent.

                     2. Late school entry.

                     3. Relative isolation from children
outside                              the family.

         In light of all of the above, homeschoolers have little
reason to worry about “socializing” their children. In fact,
many of us prefer not to “socialize” our children at all.
Instead, we prefer to “civilize” them as Cindy Moi of
California Homeschool Network likes to say. Our children
go with us, share our lives and learn to behave in a civilized
manner in the real world. They see how adults live and
work. Often, they are allowed to do real work themselves.
They learn to do the things that are necessary for survival
and success in the adult world. The schools try to
compensate for this lack by offering courses in Home
Economics, Life Skills, Child Development, etc. but the
result is a generation that has no real practice or skill in
caring for children, working in a real job, or managing life in
general.   In reality, this segregation only serves to teach
children that the only acceptable playmates are those of the
same age and further undermine the family by training
children to be peer-dependent.

SOCIALIZATION